Is Chatroulette a Gamble? You Bet Your Sweet Ass!

March 8th, 2010 |


Rocky and her dog, Yo Adrianne, are living large in Brooklyn. She spent several years coordinating the restoration and theatrical, festival, and DVD release of the films "El Topo" and "The Holy Mountain" by the infamous director, Alejandro Jodorowsky. In 2008, she began working on her ongoing "Pardon Me, Dolly!" film. She is currently working on starting a non-profit library out of the 1973 RV she traveled coast to coast in last summer. Rocky also shot a man in Reno once, just to watch him die.

If you haven’t already read the previous piece by Sunil on the Chatroulette site, let me give you a short breakdown. Chatroulette is a video chat-based “networking” site, consisting of two windows for video. The top window will be a random stranger from anywhere in the world, and the bottom window is you. To the right there is a text window. You can turn your video off, but you won’t be getting any action on this site without it. Sunil and I had different ideas about whether this site gets a thumbs-up…which has a whole different meaning if you spend enough time on Chatroulette.

My review is slightly tainted after finding myself more often than not coming “face to dick” rather than “face to face” with these strangers. Sunil found the site “unorganized”, but I think the better term might be primitive. You can “Next” people, “Report” people, or “Stop” – that’s about it.  To me, this is actually VERY organized. I had to give my dad a tutorial on Facebook, which might be user-friendly to the networking generation, but Chatroulette is an attractive site for people that find all the profiling and posting and gifting and fanning and following…overwhelming. And for people who don’t want a profile for one reason or another, there is another turn-on – no membership required! No email and no password, no way to trace or block anyone who disobeys the site’s BS clause forbidding obscene or pornographic material.

I couldn’t get the site to see my built-in camera. While I was problem solving, I figured I could get some help from this great network of people. But with strangers not being able to see me, I got skipped before I could even type “WAIT, HELP” or “Having technical difficulties.” Jeff Foxworthy’s doppelganger skipped me. He appeared to be networking from a suburban, country home den, the kind where your quiet and “keeps-to-himself” neighbor researches the anatomy of young children in a hidden cellar.

I got skipped two more times by guys that probably had browsers like and the Craigslist personals up at the same time. I was about to throw in the towel until I could get my camera working, when my fortune changed – one person didn’t skip me. All I can tell you about him – Caucasian and uncircumcised. After asking for some insight on why my camera wasn’t working and not getting a reply, I had to ask if he might have a “free hand”, but after a few more spastic strokes, I found myself “nexting” him, still sans video.

Finally, the light bulb went on. I remembered after I reinstalled my operating system a few weeks ago, I hadn’t downloaded Adobe Flash. Problem solved; I was nervous but ready for my close-up. I actually never saw a girl on there, which might be why I was able to keep up a good text chat with a couple of guys. They seemed happy to chat as long as I wanted. So, networking is technically possible. But there are also some other variables that make Chatroulette a risky bet.

For the most part, I was faced with the head of a penis rather than the head that traditionally sits atop a neck. It seems to be the platform of choice for guys who like to “chaturbate.” But I also can see this being a tool for cruel entertainment. In a similar screen grab, a girl that may well already be insecure and rejected in the real world will be subject to insults.

There’s a good chance that you will experience some rejection from people that just immediately disconnect when your face (or whatever) pops up. But a sensitive, tormented teen might also face people that don’t click “next” because they get their kicks ridiculing an easy target. And that’s the kind of activity that makes suicidal teens go for it. Maybe that’s extreme, but it’s not unlikely that an insecure girl, seeking approval, might be naïve to a charming and persuasive person who asks her to compromise herself for his viewing pleasure.

Without actual members, there is no way to objectively say who uses Chatroulette, but based on my experience and the opinions of the few people I had chats with, it’s mostly men, and mostly from the waist down. But there are people on the site that just want to experience networking on a random, instant-gratification level.  I actually had some good chat experiences on there, but without cock-blocking security, this site might be best left in the hands of Chris Hansen.

I have to digress and conclude here with a helpful pointer for Dateline. This could be a great outlet for Dateline’s righteous and fruitful work on “To Catch A Predator”, the eye-opening, pedophile-busting stings mixed with a little “You’re on Hidden Camera” and a side of “Punk’d”! I can see it now – Chris Hansen gliding into the kitchen to spoil the fun for the antsy dullard that just drove four hours, toting nearly $20 on study materials such as Astroglide and condoms to “tutor” a 6th grade girl. I doubt there is a shortage of perverted numbskulls, but either way… Chatroulette could be the f*cking jackpot!

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Rocky Mills